Something has just occurred to me. I was listening to Boxer Rebellion and nodding my head up and down in the groove when this occurred to me. It occurred to me that I should write about love. *cough, cough* And before I succumb to this voice in my head telling me I know absolutely nothing about it, I have decided it is better to just start typing.
Love. Yes, love. But not of the romantic mills and boons with the female protagonist‘s golden hair cascading down her exotic face waiting for her domineering (but kind), King-like (but humble), strong (but hurt), flirtatious (but actually looking for love) God of a man who she might dislike in the beginning but eventually end up hero- worshipping; he is Superman without having to wear his underwear over his trousers, he is Spider man without the necessary web-making abilities… One just cannot draw a parallel to the likes of these stories in real. There is a reason why Judith Mcnaught started writing these books; fiction is important in the world.
However, I want to talk about love in the real life; the tugging and pulling of emotions and egos; the love of the immeasurable and insurmountable hurt, the uncountable misunderstandings, the constant betrayals, the broken expectations; the love that breeds in disappointments; the love that lives and breathes despite, the love that remains.. but also, the love that dies.
I don’t want to write about love because of some bizarre need to talk about it when I am in a state of un-love, nor is this an account of the blossoming feelings of love and affection from my significant other. It is just one of those things that occur to you when you are watching a sappy movie or listening to a song which pulls at your heart strings despite your absolute reluctance in letting it.
The thing is, I really do not understand love or what it is. I understand like. I understand affection. I understand attraction. I understand honesty and trust and belief but I do not understand love. I used to think love was sacrifice if you are able to sacrifice your ‘self’ (khud in Urdu) for someone; you love them. But is there a time-stamp on it? How do people confess their undying love for the other person and in the next second, cheat on them, leave them, get over them, move on from them.
And why is love of the heart and not of the mind? Why do people automatically think that if they started thinking rationally or practically, they will stop loving and why is love equated to irrationality?
Truth be told, I have been in ‘love’. At the time, I thought I was madly in it but then after 5 years, I managed to get over. Not without any reason either. Then I fell in love again; much, much later on and I keep expecting I will wake up one day to find either I am over, or he is over.. which is just, frankly too much pressure and too much of an energy wasted which could easily be utilized elsewhere :p
My point is… Wait, I don’t have a point. Just questions which just get debated upon but never absolutely and definitely answered. The philosophical world is dwelling over so many metaphysical concepts and I find myself wondering, is love also just a metaphysical altercation, a phenomenon trying very hard to be understood but miserably failing. Why did love, one of the most important feelings a person experiences had to be the undefined one, the obscure, the mysterious, the frustratingly multi-layered one with no certainty to its meaning. We don’t know how far it goes or how far it can; we don’t know where it begins and where it ends.
But maybe I have answered the question myself. Maybe the reason it is undefined is because it cannot be defined absolutely in the first place. Maybe it is undefined because it lies somewhere between 0 and infinity and every person, everywhere in the world decides where to put a certain person on this imaginary line, decides how to define love for oneself, define which factors are variables and which constants and eventually make his own personalized love equation.
And that is why people break up and get disappointed and betray and get their hearts broken and have ALL these love problems.
What is your problem? I’ll tell you. Somewhere between 0 and infinity is your problem.
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- Walking Along Infinity (1meremortal.wordpress.com)
